Thursday, 28 August 2014

Nearly 40 and given up on the stork!

Strange name for a blog eh?

Just to clarify i'm not educationally challenged and being a science teacher I have a pretty good idea how babies are made.  But at nearly 40, and 4yrs on from a miscarriage i'm beginning to think there is something in this 'Cabbage Patch' business.

I've always been a nerd, the annoying kid that always wanted to know why this and why that, irritating perhaps at 5 but i've found as an adult needing to know 'why?' and relying on a need to research everything has served me so much better than relying on tabloids, rumours, gossip and downright half facts to get by.

At the age of 27 after spending frivolous and amazing years running nightclubs and bars the urge to know why became overwhelming and I enrolled on a degree course. Forensic and Analytical Chemistry no less.  Nothing better than knowing how the world works and a little about how life starts and ends.  This was much to the amusement of my family as i'd hated Science at school - it was for super nerds and boys (yack), choosing instead drama and understanding the English language for my teen academics of which i did ok.  I was also prone to passing out at the sight of blood and needles so the prospect of Autopsies as part of my degree became a daunting dot on the horizon as I set out as a single mum twenty something student.

5yrs later and a first class degree (who'd have thought it - and its never to late) I found not only did I love being a student (knowledge is def empowering) but also that I was much nerdier than i'd previously thought and had a huge thirst for research.

What an earth has any of this got to do about babies and cabbage patches I can hear people muttering at their computer screens?  Well post degree, a brush with cervical cancer (caught very early, something i'm thankful for everyday) and a new husband (with no biological children of his own) later I found myself at 33 contemplating whether I wanted to give that whole mum thing a go again.  After soul searching and a great deal of discussion I came to the conclusion that yes although I was loving being a career girl I would very much like to expand my family and share the joy of pregnancy with the love of my life.

Simple huh I'm a science teacher I know how to get pregnant right?  Well to be honest after 'trying' for 6 months or so I made my hubby's day by telling him he was going to be a dad.  Sadly it wasn't to be and our not even bump didn't make it into the second trimester.  The midwives and the 'research' (remember i'm a nerd) were all positive, many people get pregnant straight after a miscarriage and if i'd gotten pregnant once then there was no reason that we wouldn't get pregnant again.  4yrs down the line and we need a rethink knowing about the birds and the bees suddenly doesn't seem to be enough and the things I took for granted in my 20's when my son was a happy surprise may no longer be true.

It's been a frustrating 4yrs with neither of us to be honest wanting to admit that their may be something not quite right or that we may need some help preferring to throw ourselves into projects and the thought that it will happen if the time is right.

Well here we are heading towards 40 and being grown up and thinking about the future, what if there is something wrong? What if we need some help?  Will that help be available after 40?  Who knows it appears to be a lottery depending on where you live.  Either way it's been time to sit down and make some decisions.  These are them.

a) Leaving it to 'fate' isn't working for us
b) I'm a nerd get researching what we can ourselves
c) Give it 6 months making some real lifestyle changes and then we can honestly say we have tried everything within out power before we ask for some help.

So being a good nerd i've been researching quite heavily over the last few months.  The first thing I came across (6 months ago) which I think we always knew but didn't want to admit was that being overweight really wasn't helping.  So we bit the bullet after trying various fads we came across Juice Plus through a friend and learn't lots about our diet/nutrition and clean eating and subsequently lost 9 stone between us (5 for me and 4 for the hubster).  At this point we realised that not only are we now lighter but also feel so much better and the gym etc is much more of a pleasure rather than a torture.  So step one we have both lost weight and improved our diet in general, and I am very grateful to my lovely friend for her advice and support.

During the weight loss journey something miraculous happened after 3+ yrs of very random menstrual cycles (post miscarriage) I am now back to a spot on 28 days per month which fingers crossed is a sign of improved fertility and regular ovulation.  According the the quack our change in nutrition and weight loss has been key to this so all good.

The thing is we have been lither and more energised for 6 months now and no sign of the elusive red line so it's def time to step it up.

Over the last 6 weeks (summer hols for us lazy teachers) I have been in uber research mode looking more into what we can do to ensure we have really done everything we can, and it seems that its really may not all about Basel Body Temperatures, headstands and calenders and all the stress that comes with them.  Nutrition appears to be far more key than I previously gave it credit for.  I have read countless research papers, blogs, reports, and advice that focus whole heartedly on nutrition.

So this is where we are going for the next few months, eliminating fertility blocking foods, increasing fertility boosting foods, adding in some fertility superfoods, doing the right amount of exercise and using the powers of attraction (hey why not it cost nothing and might just work)!!

This will be my (our) diary of our journey through OPERATION B - get pregnant by good nutrition (and of course sex - I do know about the birds and the bees honest) and we look forward to sharing our journey with others in similar positions and some nosey parkers who just want to know whether it works :)

Do babies really come from the cabbage patch??  Who knows but I guess we are going to find out xxx



  1. Welcome to the infertility blogging community! I wish you didn't have to join our ranks - but hopefully you can find a lot of support here.

    Here via ICLW! Keiko from The Infertility Voice.

  2. Thank you very much for the support i will be visiting often xxx

  3. Looking forward to your next post. Would love to hear what you have found in researching nutrition. Best of luck!

  4. Welcome! I'm interested in your nutrition findings as well - anything to help along the doctors (and myself)! :)

  5. Best of luck! Glad to hear your health kick is going well so far

  6. Lifestyle changes are a good start! Hopefully that alone will do the trick. Good luck to you!

  7. Hello from ICLW, Sorry you're having trouble but welcome to IF blogland. We're an OK bunch ;-). I think your progress so far is a great move in the right direction. Good Luck, maybe I can learn a little something following you!

  8. Losing weight is a good first start. Much luck to you on this journey!

  9. Good luck! I know how hard the weight loss journey can be. It's so much better when our spouse is on board, though! I hope the changes are the key for you!

  10. Hi, here from ICLW. I hope the research and lifestyle changes pay off, but you've found a great community regardless. Welcome :)

  11. Howdy from ICLW (as both The Infertility Voice & Good Strong Words) - sounds like a helluva journey but you're on the right track. Hoping this new plan of attack does the trick!

  12. Hi from ICLW... I'm wishing you much luck and success as you put your new plan into action!

  13. Just dropping by from ICLW, I'm on a very similar journey to you - gave myself 12 months to throw myself into all things fertility. Have completely changed my diet and nutrition and already seen massive changes. (However currently doing IVF as I don't have time to waste). Look forward to reading about your journey and maybe swopping nutrition notes!